That Untapped Demographic

Channel 19, as it stands, is currently missing a travel show. I know what you’re thinking…we mainly focus on renovation and home living stuff. Cars, moving house…things a bit closer to home. At least, that’s where the big money is, and those shows get all the good ratings.

But I’m proposing that we branch out into a bold travel show that highlights the best of Melbourne, while also maybe, sort of focusing on welding. We don’t have anything on that subject, and welding ties into all sorts of stuff, like fishing and the like. One week we could be showing people how to fix their custom snapper racks while they sail along the Yarra to some special, secret destination. It has a wide appeal, is what I’m saying: people into welding and fishing who are also not particularly adventurous and want things to do in Melbourne, and they’re also watching television at 3pm in the afternoon.

Okay, so, not that wide. But TV executives don’t like shows with a wide appeal anyway. They always want to know their target demographic. And my demographic would be the unemployed couch potatoes who have just enough drive to visit a few obscure and probably-not-too-interesting attractions around Melbourne, and they’re also pretty interested in learning to clean the bait boards of the boat they don’t have.

The biggest problem would be running out of attractions. There’s a ladder museum I’ve been eyeing, the Lemur Sanctuary just opened up, and we could always sail down to the Keymore mansion, but otherwise, I’d struggle for both ‘obscure’ and ‘interesting’. The welding side would be totally fine, though. I could do a whole month on plate aluminium boats and their impact on the stainless steel welding industry.

I mean, we could make the whole show about marine welding, but…would the executives go for that? I’ll have to win them over. With my charm, and on-screen presence.