Vanilla Scented Repellent

Yep, still waiting for someone to invent the insect nuke. That’s the little bomb you can set off in your house that kills all insects but otherwise leaves everything else untouched. Surely insect physiology is different enough to humans that we could make that a real thing…right? RIGHT?

It’d be totally humane, of course. I don’t like bugs, but I don’t want them to suffer either. Just boom, wave of harmless gas- maybe vanilla flavoured- that leaves humans alone and maybe gets rid of all the ants in your kitchen, or clears the termite troubles. Jury is still out on cockroaches. Possibly they’d need a much stronger dose.

Imagine all the time that could be saved in pest control. Mornington residents get all kinds of calls to do with termites eating people’s weatherboard homes, or…probably rats, from all the tourists leaving food everywhere. Pretty sure that once you make the insect repellent strong enough to drive away rats, then it’d start being a problem for humans as well. Definitely some kind of asthma hazard, or if you don’t have asthma before it goes off, you will afterwards. Okay, so rats and mice will still have to be dealt with in the same way, but we’re okay with that. We can work with it. Pest controllers know exactly what to do with mice and rats already, plus they’ll have loads of time on their hands once they can just grab the big guns on their way out of the office. Easy as anything, lickety-split, home at 4:30 in time for whatever TV show is on at that time. Or go to the beach. Just saying, if I was a pest inspector near Rosebud or similar, I’d want to take some time to go to the beach. Which you can do…with the bug blaster. That’s it, that’s the name.

Sounds like it’s already a thing, but if not…anyone? Lawrence Corp, want to get on this? I ask only for 20% of all profits.