The Steel Deal

Do you remember that guy who thought all the steel in Melbourne comes from outer space? Yeah, he was a total lunatic. The funny thing is, though, that we are actually within reach of achieving that. The astronomers at the Steel Merchants’ Guild have recently discovered that one of Jupiter’s moons has an incredible amount of steel beneath its surface. Our first guild spaceship is almost ready, so we’re preparing a mission to send a team to collect as much steel as possible from the moon. Because of this incredible discovery, we will never have to worry about a shortage of steel tubes around Melbourne again! 

I like that we are finally taking things into our own hands, as a guild. Recently, we hosted a tea party for all the local mine owners (local being anywhere in Australia), to try making a new steel deal, but it fell through when it turned out that somebody had poisoned all the tea. We’d been wondering why there was orange, green and purple tea. It was a bit weird, but at the time everyone had just assumed it was to add a bit of life to the event. Turns out it was to take life away. After that, every steel fabricator offering service near Melbourne went into a panic, wondering where we’d get our steel from.

For a while, I was even considering going to Frankston’s latest sculptural instalment and tearing it down just for the metal. That thing is pretty ugly anyway, so I’m sure nobody would have noticed. There was a lot of junk in there as well, unfortunately, so I figured it really wasn’t worth the effort. Turns out, though, Frank from the guild had the same thought and actually went through with it. Bad luck for him though, as the sculpture was guild-commissioned, and he’s now been kicked out. Looks like I got lucky there. Dan the steel fabrication guy lives to fabricate steel another day!