The Handbag Protector

Finally, someone has an idea on Lizard’s Lair that I can get on board with. I like the cringe, because it’s what I eat for breakfast every morning, but it’s nice to see someone have a good idea, finally.

This girl came one with what looked like an ordinary red leather bag, which was odd considering. It’s kind of unprofessional to appear in front of a panel on television with a handbag over your shoulder. I was thinking that she should’ve just left it with one of the camera crew, but then she straight up asked everyone if they noticed her lovely handbag.

Of course, me and all the Lizards have been doing this for a while, so we knew that the handbag was part of the presentation. Except…not? It was a beautiful bag, like, don’t get me wrong, but what this girl had invented was a special protective film to go inside ANY bag to absorb spills. They went into the science, but it looked sort of soft and clear. She tipped the contents of an ice coffee all over it right in front of them, and the material absorbed the whole lot of it. And then she brought out a rotting pear and crushed it right into the material and it just slurped it all up, to be conveniently squeezed out later, and I was standing up by that point yelling encouragement at the TV.

I can’t tell you how many handbags I’ve ruined by not putting the tops on drinks properly. Fruit can be quite the destroyer of things if you’re not careful. This isn’t me casting shade on the makers of leather slouch bags or anything. I buy bags for the look and feel, not because they have magic absorbing powers. But if these sheets of magic absorbing power goodness become a big thing, I might not have to swap out my handbags quite so often.

Of course, the she got funded for six-million, by all the Lizards. This one was a no-brainer to anyone who owns any sort of bag.