Me As A Flower

Sometimes I wake up in the night, apparently having been given inspiration from the universe itself. The universe can be really cool like that sometimes. Anyway, I dreamed that I fell out of a plane after accidentally hitting the ejector seat (sucks when you get put in that seat on flights, but at least it comes with more legroom). After I hit the ground I could feel myself being reincarnated, but when I opened my eyes I was a flower.

Like, is that a THING? I had to call my backup guru on Skype, since my regular one in Australia was asleep. If I had to guess, I’d say I came back as a calla lily. Maybe a calla lily hot cherry. I don’t know heaps about plants because I live in a small apartment without a garden, but sometimes Juliet invites me to her incense parties in her family’s conservatory on the grounds of their manor, and she’s crazy about them. Always talking about her gerbera summertimes and how they speak to her on the voice of the wind when she meditates in one of her many groves. Ugh, we all know you have multiple meditation groves, Juliet. You don’t need to keep rubbing it in our faces.

But I’ve never heard Juliet talk about being reincarnated as a flower, and if anyone would, it’s her. She’d marry a native shrub if she could. Instead, I had to ask my backup guru in Abu Dhabi, who told me that humans only reincarnate into flowers when they’ve a) worked as a logger in life, so that they can walk a mile (metaphorically) in the shoes (metaphorical shoes) of a plant, or b) there’s a mix up in the assignment process and their intended form gets given to freshly cut flowers.

So, I think we’ve all learned something today. Next time I have to buy flowers, or attend one of Juliet’s parties and hear her talk about how her dahlia dwarf flowers were getting flirty, I’ll consider their feelings a little bit more. Maybe I should get a planter box or something. Don’t want there being any mix-ups…